The Struggle is Real!!!!!

So I know that it has been FOREVER, but after a pretty awesome youth group lesson tonight (thanks Alex), I realized two things.  Thing one, that I miss writing.  I was listening to him read what he wrote and I was thinking the whole time "Wow, I cannot believe that I went 4 months without writing just to write".  Thing two that I realized was why I haven't written.  You see, I don't really struggle with anger too much.  I am the kind of person that gets over things very quickly.  I am not able to hold a grudge. (The only thing is that every so often I explode if I'm tired and angry.)  Anyway, at the end of the lesson, I started thinking about what the sin that I struggled the most was and after about two seconds of thinking, I came to the conclusion that my struggle is also why I haven't written in forever.

I struggle with doubt.  I know that might seem strange and you might be thinking that that isn't that big of a deal, but it is.  I have always doubted.  My brain needs concrete evidence and so having faith has always been a challenge for me.  Proverbs 3:5-8 says this though,

⁵ Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
    and do not lean on your own understanding.
⁶ In all your ways acknowledge him,
    and he will make straight your paths.
⁷ Be not wise in your own eyes;
    fear the Lord, and turn away from evil.
⁸ It will be healing to your flesh

 and refreshment to your bones.

Humans like being right.  We like being in charge and we tend to get very self confident.  I know personally that not knowing where God is going to take me honestly scares me and it is so much easier to doubt Him than to accept Him.  However, verse 6 says that if we turn everything over to Him, He will provide and guide us.  I am learning to just trust Him instead of doubt His presence.  I am learning to believe with child-like faith and give EVERYTHING to God, and by doing this, I'm praying that He will use me to set the world on fire.